Loving is to be special again

Telling someone we love them is much more than expressing what we feel; it is to make clear to the others that we are determined to do all the things to make her/him happy. Although love is defined as a feeling, such emotion should be translated into gestures and attitudes. It applies also to the love between siblings, parents, children, colleagues ... and loving does not differ – on its intensity – when it is lived between a man and woman, who are decided to overcome the challenges of a shared life as couples.

The more we live together, the greater is our knowledge about those with whom we live. Thus, despite our saying many times that we love them, we are subject also to expressing other kinds of feelings such as anger, fear, dissatisfaction, even if it lasts for just a few moments. As fever may indicate infection in the body, a possible dissatisfaction in the relationship can be an indication of a situation that deserves our special attention

Because, nobody complains about the lack of something without having experienced its benefits before, we know how good it is to have someone's attention and his affection toward us. Therefore, often in our daily living or once taken aside by duties to others, we set aside simple things, which could have  great importance for the maintenance of the marriage for instance. Attitudes that were common at the time of dating or at beginning of married life, as walking holding hands, changes of affectionate kisses and other amenities common between passionate couples, unfortunately, may become rare by one spouse over the years.

At noticing the fading of affection and amenities, formerly present in the lives of couples, one can find that the marital relationship is doomed to the same routine of others – most of which cannot be serve us as a good model. However, we can not allow those problems and dissatisfaction, once denounced, separate us from our beloved. The indifference to the complaints of our spouse tends to extinguish from conjugal life those attitudes or gestures which stopped between couples and is subject of complaints now. It is better to denounce earlier what is disagreeable.

So, revigorated through the disposition of turning back to be special to each other, we should avoid the walls of shallowness and individualism to arise on the field of feelings, where walls can never exist.

Regards

Dado Moura

(*) translated from original in Portuguese - Amar é, voltar a ser especial